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Everything is awesome. That tree, AWESOME! Those birds, AWESOME!!. That pile of shit, AWESOME!!!1!!11!!!!!

Age 33, Male

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Alton High

Alton,IL

Joined on 3/5/06

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Adventures of Hobo Man Part 1 (Birth)

Posted by Some-Stupid-Idiot - February 5th, 2009


Hobo Man, once a proud CEO of a conglomerate now a downtrodden vagrant. After Lewis Strike's company went under his wife left him, taking over half his stuff, along with the kids soon followed by the IRS taking the rest. Forced onto the streets he had to fend for himself.

It wasn't until one faithful day digging in the dumpster behind a science facility did Lewis find a pretzel that would change his life in at least 361 degrees. For this was no ordinary pretzel, it was an improperly disposed of special pretzel made to enhance one's ability, also with salt and goes great mustard. Being the hobo he was, and seeing how it was encased in a plastic cube he ate it.

That must've been one hell of a pretzel seeing as he passed out instantly. Lewis woke in a cold sweat and saw it was night time. Something caught his nose, it was... it had to be, the pizza shop two blocks away was tossing out their leftover pizzas. But how could he tell so well. He got up and ran straight there so that he would get a good one.

To his surprise Lewis was running faster than he ever could, in fact he was running faster than the cars. When he arrived he almost took out a pedestrian when he stopped. He went around back and saw he was not the only one there. He saw one with his name on it and he knew that no on else was going to get it. So when he went for it and saw that someone else snatched he wasn't going to stand for it.

Lewis took his right hand and swung at the other hobo, no only did he drop the pizza box, but he also went through a wooden fence and into a pile of garbage. The other hobos backed off and it was at then that Lewis realized he had super powers, and not only that but super hobo powers.

He scarfed down the pizza and went to test his powers out. He saw some guy peddling with a guitar and asked if he could borrow it. Lewis picked it up, being this the first time he's held a guitar, and laid down some tasty jam unheard of. After only five minutes of playing Lewis made $60, way more than that other guy could make. He took the money and gave the guy back his guitar.

"I'm buying me some new clothes and a hair cut."

Lewis did a little skip and walked toward some random clothes shop when he heard police sirens. He thought nothing until he heard gunshots farther up ahead. A bank was being robbed, how cliche, and the robbers were well armed. Lewis went into the clothes shop and bought a orange ski mask and went in the direction of the bank.

While he was running he tripped into a telephone booth and saw he wasn't invulnerable. Not understanding his feelings of justice he went anyways. He went right through the front door and past the police line. In little of no time he took out 3 of the armed man but one had a hostage.

"Now I don't know who you are, but if you do anything else I'm going to blow this woman's brains out. You wouldn't like that on your conscious would ya?"

The man was behind the counter and the bullet proof shielding wasn't dropped. Since the man couldn't see where his hand was Lewis reached into his pocket and pulled out a quarter. He slowly raised up his arm and quickly threw the quarter at the man's hand. It shattered it and he dropped the gun. The woman made a break and he was all alone. After knocking the last guy out he told one of the hostages to tie me up, take my ski mask and put me in the vault and close it. He complied and they all left which led to the police flooding in. He was there, a hobo tied up in a bank vault screaming for help.

Well the police let him go and well after filing some paper work at the station he was back on the street. They took his $45, the hat was 15 what a rip-off, so he was back where he was, no money to call his own. Of course with his super hobo powers, playing guitar, panhandling, and break dancing, I'm sure he'll make out.

Hobo Man is going to need villains with back stories, oh and a love interest. Hobo Man also needs a costume he'll buy or make out of trash bags or condoms or something like that.


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